I’m not wanting to do anything today. It’s a Friday and I don’t normally see clients on Friday, so I spend the day getting caught up on paperwork, filing, laundry, house cleaning…all those things that we need a day to do. However, today it’s not happening. I have a stack of case notes to write, […]
My Rules for Discussion
I have developed my Rules for Discussion that I give to my couples to help them learn how to discuss the big issues and sometimes the small ones. The rules have five steps. 1. Determine the Purpose of the Discussion. This is to keep you on track and to manage expectations. Ask yourself what are […]
Some Day Are Just Damn Tough – Go Ahead and Cry
A friend of mine did one of those little Facebook surveys in which you answer questions about yourself. One question was how often you cry. I find myself crying or tearing up pretty much each day. I used to think it was a sign of weakness to cry, but as I’ve gotten older, crying is […]
Putting Your Thoughts to Sleep
I really like this, though I recognize that it’s often easier said than done to put your thoughts to sleep. If you are struggling with thoughts that keep you awake at night, it may be that you need to be talking about those thoughts during the day to give them a release from your mind. […]
The Psychological Manipulation that is Gaslighting
I had a long talk with a close friend today about taking responsibility for your actions and how difficult this can be for so many people. It’s much easier to blame someone else versus looking at yourself. As a therapist, I know this well as I hear clients tell me everyday how they are made […]
The Art of Grieving
Grieving – In my experience, grief can fall into two categories. 1. Grieving the death of someone you loved or cared deeply for, and 2. Grieving the loss of a relationship, whether it is a romantic love relationship or a deep loving friendship. Both types of grief are difficult, but the second, the loss of […]
A Selfless Love: Self-Sacrifice in Marriage
At church today I was talking to a long-time friend who had just gone through rotator cuff shoulder surgery. She had her left arm immobilized in a sling, while I have my right foot in a boot and using a knee scooter to get around (I just had my right foot basically reconstructed.) We talked […]
The Five Love Languages Easily Explained
This is a good explanation of the Five Love Languages. If you want to know your love language, just google Chapman’s Five Love Languages and you can take the quiz and learn more about why it’s important to know your partner (and your kids’ love languages – there’s a quiz for teens and children). (And […]
How to Get Past Being Ghosted
Ghosting – the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I had not heard of this term until recently and frankly I am dismayed at how often ghosting seems to happen with people who seem to have a good relationship going and then one person […]